Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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