I feel great
I just peed on a car
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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