At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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