so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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