Sponge bath it is.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
