best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
