idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
