Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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