have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
