TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
