I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
