Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
