Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
