ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
sex in a hospital.. check
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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