Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
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