It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
