I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
