3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize