Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize