I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
