Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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