y did u give ur computer a hand job?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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