Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
