I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
