thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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