remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
