i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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