He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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