so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
