Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
