i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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