dude i'm inner monologue high
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
