You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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