Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
