no you cant smoke seaweed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
