You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This girl is more easily done than said...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
