I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She bit a glass in half.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
