Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
