Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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