you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drive I can fine osifer
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
