Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
