so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
