I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
