around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
