Nicole vs. Life
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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