Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
