What did we do last night that was yellow?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
