if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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