when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize