My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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