Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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