hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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