WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
