I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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