There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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