i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
