Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
