Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
