? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
