so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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